Connor is singing a very inappropriate song.
...And it is very awkward
Anyways, I'm sitting here in Socials class wanting to blow my brains out cause I have nothing to do sooo i am going to give you a play by play on what Connor is doing.
Right now he is looking up pictures of a popular t.v. show called afro samurai. He is swearing at the screen to try and explain to me about how cool this guy is and that i should get him the seasons for Christmas.
[I said no, lol]
Now he is humming a random tune and asking me what the name of the song he is signing is called, too bad he is tone deaf. because then i could actually tell him what the name of the song is.
I actually can't stand people who think they can sign and burden our ears with the unholy sound that is their voice.
However it is totally different when the person [btw Connor just called me gay, I told him he liked men, same meaning just different way of saying it] knows they can't sing and are just signing for the hell of it.
I am a good example of this. I KNOW i can't sing, so when I do it, it's cool, then again everything I do is cool.
And you know whats even worse... when people know they can sing so they make a point of signing all the time!
Like in the halls, while they are working, while they are walking, even while they are reliving themselves in the washroom.
When you get to the point that you sing on the toilet, you have lost all respect in my eyes [unless you are doing it in the privacy of your on bathroom, cause I admit, I sing on the toilet when no one is home]
But lets side bar to Connor, he is still humming that song and can't understand why I can't tell him the name, he just called his brother to find out the name, anyways back to signing.
You get to the point where your like okay we all know you can sing, so just shut-up.
I can handle to odd talent show or signing oh Canada for an Assembly of some importance.
I can truly handle that, just try not to do it at any other time, please and thank-you.
back to Connor, he is still humming that song asking me what's it called.
I can't understand him, here you try:
he's saying
hmmm hm hm hm hmmmmm HMMMMM hmm HMMM hm hm
any guess?
yours is as good as mine
I actually think your guess is better, that's how bad of a hummer Connor is
and I don't mean hummer as in the car,
but I'm sure he sucks at being one of those too :P
Well I better end this off before he reads it and kills me
pce out
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
I Hunt Kelp...
...because I always win...
This is one of many smart and sarcastic comments I made as the poor 18 year old employee of the Vancouver Aquarium was giving us our tour. The poor lad didn't know he was gunna get a group of teenage girls, who had a lot of smart-ass comments to say :P
However, before the tour, we got to go a touch a bunch of sea critters which were all very interesting, even the crab sent from hell to pinch me.
I mean I'm not a completely innocent person but why must this, of all things, happen to me?
We were passing around this hairy, spider-looking, crab and the minute it came to me, some idiot turned off the lights.
That right, the only thing providing me with the ability to see the grotesque thing has been taken away, so naturally I said [in a sarcastic tone]
"well this is great, I love to hold animals with pincher's in the dark it makes me feel like I'm living life on the edge"
And at that very moment the dang thing pinched me!! By the time the lights were back on I was dangling the thing over the piranha tank! [not actually a)because I would never do such a thing, and b) there were no piranhas handy.]
So after our tour of the aquarium, snack, and amazing wet lab [from hell]
We were lead to the underwater beluga viewing area, where we were designated our sleeping areas and told to get ready for bed.
So naturally, all the girls went into the bathrooms together, you know, to compare bra size and how cute each other p.j.'s were.
Hands down, I obviously won in both categories, so it is understandable that I was the first out of the bathroom and back to the sleeping area.
While I was putting my stuff in my bag I looked up to see the 5 week old baby beluga's face [is it called there face, or something more beluga-ey?] pressed up against the glass of the tank!!
My first thought was; GYFUGUCV!
My second thought was; no one is going to believe this, so I looked to my right and saw Nicole, [who was the runner up in the girls bathroom Olympics] and grabbed her to look at this precious creature.
We decided that we had a moment with the beluga that night, we felt that we shared something special with ________ [insert beluga name here], and we thought it felt the same way....but apparently not!
The beluga did the same thing with everyone else the next morning! That little beluga s**t, I feel so used...[and so does Nicole, seeing as she was also there for that moment too]
Anyways, the next morning we got to roam freely around the aquarium, and at this point we have seen everything, you can only see so much of the Aquarium till you start to go mental.
So a bunch of girls and I decided to go to the only place we hadn't been all night,
The gift shop!
We took a bunch of random pics, and filmed a short movie with finger puppets, entitled "grade 11 boys touch each other at night"
It will be premiering next week on youtube.
[ignore that last statement, it may not be true]
Oh and Obama, I'm still waiting for that thank-you card and the announcement that I'm the new Governor of Oklahoma, come on O-dawg I thought we had a deal?
And remember;
If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?
ANSWER; Of course not
If Jess falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear her, does she make a sound?
ANSWER; Yes, I always make a sound!
This is one of many smart and sarcastic comments I made as the poor 18 year old employee of the Vancouver Aquarium was giving us our tour. The poor lad didn't know he was gunna get a group of teenage girls, who had a lot of smart-ass comments to say :P
However, before the tour, we got to go a touch a bunch of sea critters which were all very interesting, even the crab sent from hell to pinch me.
I mean I'm not a completely innocent person but why must this, of all things, happen to me?
We were passing around this hairy, spider-looking, crab and the minute it came to me, some idiot turned off the lights.
That right, the only thing providing me with the ability to see the grotesque thing has been taken away, so naturally I said [in a sarcastic tone]
"well this is great, I love to hold animals with pincher's in the dark it makes me feel like I'm living life on the edge"
And at that very moment the dang thing pinched me!! By the time the lights were back on I was dangling the thing over the piranha tank! [not actually a)because I would never do such a thing, and b) there were no piranhas handy.]
So after our tour of the aquarium, snack, and amazing wet lab [from hell]
We were lead to the underwater beluga viewing area, where we were designated our sleeping areas and told to get ready for bed.
So naturally, all the girls went into the bathrooms together, you know, to compare bra size and how cute each other p.j.'s were.
Hands down, I obviously won in both categories, so it is understandable that I was the first out of the bathroom and back to the sleeping area.
While I was putting my stuff in my bag I looked up to see the 5 week old baby beluga's face [is it called there face, or something more beluga-ey?] pressed up against the glass of the tank!!
My first thought was; GYFUGUCV!
My second thought was; no one is going to believe this, so I looked to my right and saw Nicole, [who was the runner up in the girls bathroom Olympics] and grabbed her to look at this precious creature.
We decided that we had a moment with the beluga that night, we felt that we shared something special with ________ [insert beluga name here], and we thought it felt the same way....but apparently not!
The beluga did the same thing with everyone else the next morning! That little beluga s**t, I feel so used...[and so does Nicole, seeing as she was also there for that moment too]
Anyways, the next morning we got to roam freely around the aquarium, and at this point we have seen everything, you can only see so much of the Aquarium till you start to go mental.
So a bunch of girls and I decided to go to the only place we hadn't been all night,
The gift shop!
We took a bunch of random pics, and filmed a short movie with finger puppets, entitled "grade 11 boys touch each other at night"
It will be premiering next week on youtube.
[ignore that last statement, it may not be true]
Oh and Obama, I'm still waiting for that thank-you card and the announcement that I'm the new Governor of Oklahoma, come on O-dawg I thought we had a deal?
And remember;
If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?
ANSWER; Of course not
If Jess falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear her, does she make a sound?
ANSWER; Yes, I always make a sound!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Guess Who's Back?
Back again?
Jess is Back.
Tell a friend
no joke, you should call someone up :)
Well let me just start off with an apology, I haven't blogged in a while and some people are going through withdrawals. Some people said they would boycott school if I didn't write a new blog.
No joke, I have even been receiving death threats and notes saying that if I didn't write a new entry they were going to loose faith in all of mankind and maybe even blow something up.
and we don't want that to happen, am I right? [yes, always]
I have another confession, none of those things have actually happened. sorry, the most I got was a nudge in class saying:
"hey, have you updated your blog? cause I like to make fun of it behind your back"
...at least its something :P
anyways I am freakin' in love, that's right I said it
L-O-V-E
and if you know me that's not a word I throw around lightly.
I'm am loving life, its just so chill and I mean besides homework and last Friday [don't even get me started] life is gooood.
so here is my new motto in life, [mind you I didn't write it, but I'm sure if I thought of it first I would have, lol]
The rain, it started tapping on the window near my bed.
There was a loophole in my dreaming,so I got out of it.
And to my surprise my eyes were wide and already open.
Just my nightstand and my dresser where those nightmares had just been.
So I dressed myself and left them, out into the gray streets.
But everything seemed different and completely new to me.
The sky, the trees, houses, buildings, even my own body.
And each person I encountered, I couldn't wait to meet.
And I came upon a doctor who appeared in quite poor health.I said "there is nothing I can do for you, you can't do for yourself.
He said "Oh yes you can. Just hold my hand. I think that would help."
So I sat with him a while and then I asked him how he felt.
He said, "I think I'm cured. No, in fact, I'm sure.
Thank you Stranger, for your therapeutic smile."
So that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone.
And your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow.
But when crying don't help and you can't compose yourself.
It is best to compose a poem, an honest verse of longing or simple song of hope.
That's why I'm singing...Baby don't worry cause now I got your back.
And every time you feel like crying, I'm gonna try and make you laugh.
And if I can't, if it just hurts too bad,then we will wait for it to pass
And I will keep you company through those days so long and black.
And we'll keep working on the problem, that no one ever solved
Of Love's uneven remainders, our lives are fractions of a whole.
But if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on a wall.
Then I think we would see the beauty.
Then we would stand staring in awe;
At our still lives posed like a bowl of oranges,
Like a story told by the fault lines and the soil.
---Bright Eyes - Bowl of Oranges
they are brilliant, go buy their CD now lol
and can I please take a moment to say;
lets all hope that Obama wins tomorrow.
That's right guys, I may not be a famous person like Larry King, Oprah, or Alfred Hitchcock but I still count because my opinion is open on the web.
I endorse Obama!
your welcome, you are now sure to win
[p.s. O-dawg, I expect a thank-you card after you win the election, thanks to this endorsement.]
Jess is Back.
Tell a friend
no joke, you should call someone up :)
Well let me just start off with an apology, I haven't blogged in a while and some people are going through withdrawals. Some people said they would boycott school if I didn't write a new blog.
No joke, I have even been receiving death threats and notes saying that if I didn't write a new entry they were going to loose faith in all of mankind and maybe even blow something up.
and we don't want that to happen, am I right? [yes, always]
I have another confession, none of those things have actually happened. sorry, the most I got was a nudge in class saying:
"hey, have you updated your blog? cause I like to make fun of it behind your back"
...at least its something :P
anyways I am freakin' in love, that's right I said it
L-O-V-E
and if you know me that's not a word I throw around lightly.
I'm am loving life, its just so chill and I mean besides homework and last Friday [don't even get me started] life is gooood.
so here is my new motto in life, [mind you I didn't write it, but I'm sure if I thought of it first I would have, lol]
The rain, it started tapping on the window near my bed.
There was a loophole in my dreaming,so I got out of it.
And to my surprise my eyes were wide and already open.
Just my nightstand and my dresser where those nightmares had just been.
So I dressed myself and left them, out into the gray streets.
But everything seemed different and completely new to me.
The sky, the trees, houses, buildings, even my own body.
And each person I encountered, I couldn't wait to meet.
And I came upon a doctor who appeared in quite poor health.I said "there is nothing I can do for you, you can't do for yourself.
He said "Oh yes you can. Just hold my hand. I think that would help."
So I sat with him a while and then I asked him how he felt.
He said, "I think I'm cured. No, in fact, I'm sure.
Thank you Stranger, for your therapeutic smile."
So that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone.
And your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow.
But when crying don't help and you can't compose yourself.
It is best to compose a poem, an honest verse of longing or simple song of hope.
That's why I'm singing...Baby don't worry cause now I got your back.
And every time you feel like crying, I'm gonna try and make you laugh.
And if I can't, if it just hurts too bad,then we will wait for it to pass
And I will keep you company through those days so long and black.
And we'll keep working on the problem, that no one ever solved
Of Love's uneven remainders, our lives are fractions of a whole.
But if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on a wall.
Then I think we would see the beauty.
Then we would stand staring in awe;
At our still lives posed like a bowl of oranges,
Like a story told by the fault lines and the soil.
---Bright Eyes - Bowl of Oranges
they are brilliant, go buy their CD now lol
and can I please take a moment to say;
lets all hope that Obama wins tomorrow.
That's right guys, I may not be a famous person like Larry King, Oprah, or Alfred Hitchcock but I still count because my opinion is open on the web.
I endorse Obama!
your welcome, you are now sure to win
[p.s. O-dawg, I expect a thank-you card after you win the election, thanks to this endorsement.]
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Hey Jess, What Do You Do On The Weekends?
Well boys and girls, this is a very good question!
Besides the sex drugs and rock and roll, i like to film pointless stupid movies of my friends.
oh yeah its a good one.
So we were all just chillin at Gaby's house when a very valuable question came up;
what do guys/girls do at sleepovers.
The usual answers came up;
the guys said naked pillow fights, kissing, all that jazz.
and we the girls just said play video games and compare the sizes of our pork swords.
So I'm sitting here thinking this would make a really good, funny, CLEAN, video....
...well it was funny...
Turns out guys have the attention span of a 5 year old so we only got the first couple of scenes done, but we thought;
"hey this can't go to waste!"
So we used the clips we got that night and some clips of a french project gaby and lara did last year and well... we got this strangely funny video
The wonders you can do with a mac and some weird sound effects.
oh btw you may be thinking, where is jess, she's so awesome, she should be in this!!
Well don't worry, I'm the brains behind the camera!
go to:
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=59345375224
you actually have to watch it, if you loved me you would watch it!
post what you think!
Besides the sex drugs and rock and roll, i like to film pointless stupid movies of my friends.
oh yeah its a good one.
So we were all just chillin at Gaby's house when a very valuable question came up;
what do guys/girls do at sleepovers.
The usual answers came up;
the guys said naked pillow fights, kissing, all that jazz.
and we the girls just said play video games and compare the sizes of our pork swords.
So I'm sitting here thinking this would make a really good, funny, CLEAN, video....
...well it was funny...
Turns out guys have the attention span of a 5 year old so we only got the first couple of scenes done, but we thought;
"hey this can't go to waste!"
So we used the clips we got that night and some clips of a french project gaby and lara did last year and well... we got this strangely funny video
The wonders you can do with a mac and some weird sound effects.
oh btw you may be thinking, where is jess, she's so awesome, she should be in this!!
Well don't worry, I'm the brains behind the camera!
go to:
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=59345375224
you actually have to watch it, if you loved me you would watch it!
post what you think!
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Is Anyone An Organ Donor....?
...cause I need to buy some guts.
Seriously, I lost mine, and I'm willing to pay anything [I'm baller like that]
This is what I'm thinking about posting in a local newspaper [not actually, do I seem that unstable?]
WANTED; GUTS
Preferably in good condition,
won't run out on me when I really need them.
pink and fleshy
have some past experience at being "gutsy" [man, I'm good]
willing to trade.
I mean my guts are good, I usually have no problem telling people what I think [I pretty sure I called my teacher a terrorist once]
However they tend to run out on me when I need to say something to someone who really matters.
Seriously, I lost mine, and I'm willing to pay anything [I'm baller like that]
This is what I'm thinking about posting in a local newspaper [not actually, do I seem that unstable?]
WANTED; GUTS
Preferably in good condition,
won't run out on me when I really need them.
pink and fleshy
have some past experience at being "gutsy" [man, I'm good]
willing to trade.
I mean my guts are good, I usually have no problem telling people what I think [I pretty sure I called my teacher a terrorist once]
However they tend to run out on me when I need to say something to someone who really matters.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
It's Sad, I Never Gave A Damn About The Weather...
...but it never gave a damn about me.
Seriously, what the heck is going on with this weather. Couldn't it have some common sense to have some decency to at least call me up and tell me it was going to be like the second ice age.
That way I would have had a chance to stock up on canned goods and umbrellas...
heck... maybe even build a bomb shelter.
But no, the weather had to be a prick and give me no notice, isn't the expectations these days something like two weeks?
I also think the weather is bi-polar [which is a disease that should not be taken lightly]
One day its all sunny and the rabbits and deers are frolicking in the meadows and then the next it's cold and rainy and all the deers and rabbits have been struck down by lightning!
Like actually, I was expecting the second coming to come soon but not this soon.
Before it was like; "hey want to go outside and get a tan and/or skin cancer?"
but now it's like "hey lets go outside and get frost bite and loose all our limbs"
I know you may say, silly jess both of those have negative sides
Well here is my rebuttal: You are looking at the glass half empty. See if you were positive like me you would see the good out of the two... a tan.
At least the sun gives you something good.
But if you know me on a personal level, you will know that I will not just stand by and let the rain smack me across the face.
I smack the rain back.
And I did this by just running in it. I just ran as if it didn't exist.
HA! take that rain!
No one or nothing likes being ignored, trust me.
I may have caught hypothermia, but I sure showed the rain who's boss.
HA!
[I always have the last laugh]
Seriously, what the heck is going on with this weather. Couldn't it have some common sense to have some decency to at least call me up and tell me it was going to be like the second ice age.
That way I would have had a chance to stock up on canned goods and umbrellas...
heck... maybe even build a bomb shelter.
But no, the weather had to be a prick and give me no notice, isn't the expectations these days something like two weeks?
I also think the weather is bi-polar [which is a disease that should not be taken lightly]
One day its all sunny and the rabbits and deers are frolicking in the meadows and then the next it's cold and rainy and all the deers and rabbits have been struck down by lightning!
Like actually, I was expecting the second coming to come soon but not this soon.
Before it was like; "hey want to go outside and get a tan and/or skin cancer?"
but now it's like "hey lets go outside and get frost bite and loose all our limbs"
I know you may say, silly jess both of those have negative sides
Well here is my rebuttal: You are looking at the glass half empty. See if you were positive like me you would see the good out of the two... a tan.
At least the sun gives you something good.
But if you know me on a personal level, you will know that I will not just stand by and let the rain smack me across the face.
I smack the rain back.
And I did this by just running in it. I just ran as if it didn't exist.
HA! take that rain!
No one or nothing likes being ignored, trust me.
I may have caught hypothermia, but I sure showed the rain who's boss.
HA!
[I always have the last laugh]
Friday, October 10, 2008
Just A Random One [this one's for andrea]
So me and a friend were having a written convo during bio class and we touched on an interesting concept.
Here is a snippet of the convo. [j=me and a=Andrea]
a = Hahaha, ew. Your weird, but then again, so is everyone.
j = yupp. But wait, if I’m weird, but everyone is weird, wouldn't that make me normal?
a = I guess...
j = yup, and people who aren’t weird are just crazy, like mental institute crazy.
a = that's pretty cool. So what does that make me?
j = see you fit into the group of people who aren’t weird category, however your like secretly weird so you would be like one of those crazy people who can live in everyday society as long as they take their pills.
a = but I don't take pills...
j = we're talking about a hypothetical world!!
Anyways that’s the upside down world I live in
And I’d like to give a shout out to ANDREA MAO
She’s the one who asks me like 5 times a day to update my blog
You’re so cool I would hug you.....if you let me...
Here’s another snippet just to prove how cool Andrea is;
a = btw, I burned down the North Pole
j = why? ..... Did Santa touch you?
a = No.... did he touch you?
j = well no... But if he touched me I would burn down the North Pole and press charges
a = I lied. I didn't burn down the North Pole
j = shame on you!
a = oh well...
j = you could have potentially ruined 20 million children's beliefs about Santa and all you say is oh well?!?
For all you who think Andrea is normal...beware she's not lol
jk luv you Andrea!
Here is a snippet of the convo. [j=me and a=Andrea]
a = Hahaha, ew. Your weird, but then again, so is everyone.
j = yupp. But wait, if I’m weird, but everyone is weird, wouldn't that make me normal?
a = I guess...
j = yup, and people who aren’t weird are just crazy, like mental institute crazy.
a = that's pretty cool. So what does that make me?
j = see you fit into the group of people who aren’t weird category, however your like secretly weird so you would be like one of those crazy people who can live in everyday society as long as they take their pills.
a = but I don't take pills...
j = we're talking about a hypothetical world!!
Anyways that’s the upside down world I live in
And I’d like to give a shout out to ANDREA MAO
She’s the one who asks me like 5 times a day to update my blog
You’re so cool I would hug you.....if you let me...
Here’s another snippet just to prove how cool Andrea is;
a = btw, I burned down the North Pole
j = why? ..... Did Santa touch you?
a = No.... did he touch you?
j = well no... But if he touched me I would burn down the North Pole and press charges
a = I lied. I didn't burn down the North Pole
j = shame on you!
a = oh well...
j = you could have potentially ruined 20 million children's beliefs about Santa and all you say is oh well?!?
For all you who think Andrea is normal...beware she's not lol
jk luv you Andrea!
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