I Hunt Kelp...

...because I always win...

This is one of many smart and sarcastic comments I made as the poor 18 year old employee of the Vancouver Aquarium was giving us our tour. The poor lad didn't know he was gunna get a group of teenage girls, who had a lot of smart-ass comments to say :P

However, before the tour, we got to go a touch a bunch of sea critters which were all very interesting, even the crab sent from hell to pinch me.

I mean I'm not a completely innocent person but why must this, of all things, happen to me?
We were passing around this hairy, spider-looking, crab and the minute it came to me, some idiot turned off the lights.

That right, the only thing providing me with the ability to see the grotesque thing has been taken away, so naturally I said [in a sarcastic tone]
"well this is great, I love to hold animals with pincher's in the dark it makes me feel like I'm living life on the edge"

And at that very moment the dang thing pinched me!! By the time the lights were back on I was dangling the thing over the piranha tank! [not actually a)because I would never do such a thing, and b) there were no piranhas handy.]

So after our tour of the aquarium, snack, and amazing wet lab [from hell]

We were lead to the underwater beluga viewing area, where we were designated our sleeping areas and told to get ready for bed.

So naturally, all the girls went into the bathrooms together, you know, to compare bra size and how cute each other p.j.'s were.

Hands down, I obviously won in both categories, so it is understandable that I was the first out of the bathroom and back to the sleeping area.

While I was putting my stuff in my bag I looked up to see the 5 week old baby beluga's face [is it called there face, or something more beluga-ey?] pressed up against the glass of the tank!!

My first thought was; GYFUGUCV!
My second thought was; no one is going to believe this, so I looked to my right and saw Nicole, [who was the runner up in the girls bathroom Olympics] and grabbed her to look at this precious creature.

We decided that we had a moment with the beluga that night, we felt that we shared something special with ________ [insert beluga name here], and we thought it felt the same way....but apparently not!

The beluga did the same thing with everyone else the next morning! That little beluga s**t, I feel so used...[and so does Nicole, seeing as she was also there for that moment too]

Anyways, the next morning we got to roam freely around the aquarium, and at this point we have seen everything, you can only see so much of the Aquarium till you start to go mental.

So a bunch of girls and I decided to go to the only place we hadn't been all night,

The gift shop!

We took a bunch of random pics, and filmed a short movie with finger puppets, entitled "grade 11 boys touch each other at night"
It will be premiering next week on youtube.

[ignore that last statement, it may not be true]

Oh and Obama, I'm still waiting for that thank-you card and the announcement that I'm the new Governor of Oklahoma, come on O-dawg I thought we had a deal?

And remember;
If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?
ANSWER; Of course not
If Jess falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear her, does she make a sound?
ANSWER; Yes, I always make a sound!