WANTED:

A Fake Boyfriend...

I' gunna be honest with you guys, and trust me it is hard for me to admit this seeing as it NEVER happens, prepare yourself...

I HAVE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE

which also happens to be quite hilarious for your benefit :p

Now before you start thinking to yourselves; that Jess, so desperate, now she's putting up want ads on her blog... I loose all respect for her...

WAIT, stop loosing respect for me! If you knew me well enough I don't really complain about not having a bf, and since you assumed I was complaining I have lost respect for you [see how I just made YOU the bad guy...lol]

Anyways, let me take you way back, back to a time and a place both foreign and unknown.... [Que crazy fade out music and cloudy mist]

December 13th 2008, My place of employment.

I was looking over my schedule with my boss at the end of my shift when he directed my attention to a notice he pinned up under the hours board

STAFF PARTY-SHBUSAN, 7.30

I was like "hell yeah! all you can eat and my boss pays for it!! whoop!"
I mean anyone would have this reaction, you don't have to be starving to have love food.

but then that's when it all started going down hill, i noticed that everyone who works with me had there name on the list along with a number.
oh don't panic, I was on the list....oh yes I was on the list...but with a big fat ONE next to it, i proceeded to notice that everyone else had a two by there name so I'm thinking;

"Hmmm so he just assumes I have no friends, ouch what a stab in my side"
Significant other didn't even cross my mind...

So I ask my boss if I could bring someone and he was like
"Only official boyfriend"

lol I laughed at this cause he said official, do you need a court order for these things?
but then I stopped laughing, I had realized he just assumed I was single...
DO I LOOK THAT LONELY?
lol
So I could have just stopped myself there but no, I had to say yes.
I said yes for two reasons;
A) I wanted to prove my boss wrong even though he was technically right, but who cares about technicalities?
B) I was gunna be the only one there alone...not cool
I would be the awkward 3rd wheel for about 10 couples!!
I can't let this happen, so this brings us back to the present day and my present predicament.

I need a fake boyfriend for December 21st 7.30

I know what your thinking, oh Jess and her shenanigans, she's crazy!

I would like to tell you I am not crazy however, I have a knack for getting myself in tight spots

Sooo if your interested give me a call
you get a free all you can eat dinner, and I'm not that bad to look at
please don't apply if you are under 5'8 and have an overage of facial hair
You can drop your resume off at my office
Please don't call me, I'll call you LOL

btw this is not a joke, I ACTUALLY HAVE THIS PROBLEM
lol