Experiment 4223 - A Fishy Tale

So over the past couple of days I have been conducting an experiment to test a theory of mine.

Every day my mother tells me to clean my room and that it is a pig's sty. btw there are no pigs in my room thus it can't be a pig's sty.

Anyways she says this no matter what, wheather there is one thing on the floor or twenty. So I came up with this theory that she doesn't actually look in my room, She just ASSUMES that it is messy.
And everyone knows that when you assume you make and ass out of you, not me.
So I spent many a moons thinking up how to figure out wheather she is looking in my room or not.
I first thought I should paint it, but no that's a little to obvious and well I'm lazy. Then maybe rearranging my furniture. A good idea except that I would have to clean my room in order to do that.
So me and my pal Drew went to petcetra to pick up some gp food when I stumbled across a sign Fish!!!!! 50% off.
It didn't take long to connect the dots.
I will buy a fish, put it in one of my mom's measuring cups and leave it in my room in a highly visible place. If she sees it then she is actually looking in my room and intern is mentally unstable cause she thinks one shirt on the floor is messy.
OR
She doesn't actually look at my room, she just assumes that it is messy. And don't make me explain what assume means again.
So basically it's a win/win situation for me. HAHA

Hubert also known as experiment 4223 has been in my room for a total of 48 hours and she has yet to notice the fish. She has asked me to clean my room a total of 4 times.

I am drawing up the papers for the mental institution now.

Jess, One. Mom, Zero

Lift Those Knees Ladies!

okay so I have been trying to improve myself lately in every aspect of my life.
And since my mind and soul are near perfect [jk] I've been focusing on my bod.

That's right people, I've been hittin the gym.
I've been hitting it hard.

So I was there the other day with my fateful partner Jenn and we were running and pumping iron, when i realized this really scary women.

She's about six foot something, brown crazy person hair. tight lulu lemon pants and steroid muscles. I mean this chick looked like she had steroids put into her bottle from the day she was born. Her muscles were having sex with each other a producing more muscles! I'm quite sure she had a package, if you know what I mean.... :o

Just kidding...

She actually looked quite normal. She was wearing lulu lemon and had brown hair, and it was quite tame. She did have muscles, but just a little bit. however her eyes looked crazy, and I'm just gunna skip ahead to the moral of the story, you can tell how crazy a person is based on their eyes.

Well I'm sitting at this machine the one where you are sitting down and you push your legs apart against the machine, quite the compromising position, but i thought nothing of it cause it was just LADIES fitness.

So this chick sits on the machine across from me, the one that you push your arms out, and starts using it and with every push she lets out this HUGE grunt as her eyes stare deep into my soul!

so I'm ahh... feeling a little uncomfortable so I finish my rep quickly and move to another machine which is basically the same idea except your pushing in with your legs.

NO JOKE HERE. she gets up, goes to the machine across from me a does the same thing!

so I go into one of those flash back modes and realize she was there when I was running and when I was doing sit ups! It took me this long to realize this! I am an IDIOT! So I stand up and go to the machine at the far end of the room to test this theory of her following me. This may have not been a wise choice...

Let me explain this machine, you are on all fours on a raised platform and you lift one leg up to work out your butt. Not a wise decision at all.

I see her do a couple more reps, then she stands, looks around and spots me. I swear she looked straight into my eyes. She starts walking over, and I start panicking, looking around for someone to save me. btw screw you superman, you weren't there when I needed you! and I'm like oh no oh no, mean while I don't think "hey maybe I should get off the machine or maybe at the very least put my leg down" nope that's too much to ask from little old me.

Crazy lady walks up to me looks me straight in the eyes [btw I can feel eyes torching my very thoughts] and says "hey you need me to spot you" in a very masculine voice. and I say in a tiny mouse creeped out voice "no thanks, I'm gooood" and oh yes I made the ooo on good extra long.

never saw her again, weirdest thing ever

ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have not only learned you can tell how crazy a person is by their eyes. but when you are being followed by a crazy person do not go to the machine that is in the corner and has you on all fours with one leg up in the air... and pls don't make me explain why...:P

I've Never Felt So Crapy In My Life

I've never wanted something so bad

I've never known a team that deserved it more

I've never known thirteen girls that would sit in class and the only thing they can think of is the game

I've never known myself to want something this bad

Score is tied at 0

2nd half of over time

about 7 mins left

Whistler scores on my net

I've never been more disapointed, more angry, more pissed off at my self then today.