Lift Those Knees Ladies!

okay so I have been trying to improve myself lately in every aspect of my life.
And since my mind and soul are near perfect [jk] I've been focusing on my bod.

That's right people, I've been hittin the gym.
I've been hitting it hard.

So I was there the other day with my fateful partner Jenn and we were running and pumping iron, when i realized this really scary women.

She's about six foot something, brown crazy person hair. tight lulu lemon pants and steroid muscles. I mean this chick looked like she had steroids put into her bottle from the day she was born. Her muscles were having sex with each other a producing more muscles! I'm quite sure she had a package, if you know what I mean.... :o

Just kidding...

She actually looked quite normal. She was wearing lulu lemon and had brown hair, and it was quite tame. She did have muscles, but just a little bit. however her eyes looked crazy, and I'm just gunna skip ahead to the moral of the story, you can tell how crazy a person is based on their eyes.

Well I'm sitting at this machine the one where you are sitting down and you push your legs apart against the machine, quite the compromising position, but i thought nothing of it cause it was just LADIES fitness.

So this chick sits on the machine across from me, the one that you push your arms out, and starts using it and with every push she lets out this HUGE grunt as her eyes stare deep into my soul!

so I'm ahh... feeling a little uncomfortable so I finish my rep quickly and move to another machine which is basically the same idea except your pushing in with your legs.

NO JOKE HERE. she gets up, goes to the machine across from me a does the same thing!

so I go into one of those flash back modes and realize she was there when I was running and when I was doing sit ups! It took me this long to realize this! I am an IDIOT! So I stand up and go to the machine at the far end of the room to test this theory of her following me. This may have not been a wise choice...

Let me explain this machine, you are on all fours on a raised platform and you lift one leg up to work out your butt. Not a wise decision at all.

I see her do a couple more reps, then she stands, looks around and spots me. I swear she looked straight into my eyes. She starts walking over, and I start panicking, looking around for someone to save me. btw screw you superman, you weren't there when I needed you! and I'm like oh no oh no, mean while I don't think "hey maybe I should get off the machine or maybe at the very least put my leg down" nope that's too much to ask from little old me.

Crazy lady walks up to me looks me straight in the eyes [btw I can feel eyes torching my very thoughts] and says "hey you need me to spot you" in a very masculine voice. and I say in a tiny mouse creeped out voice "no thanks, I'm gooood" and oh yes I made the ooo on good extra long.

never saw her again, weirdest thing ever

ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have not only learned you can tell how crazy a person is by their eyes. but when you are being followed by a crazy person do not go to the machine that is in the corner and has you on all fours with one leg up in the air... and pls don't make me explain why...:P