Thursday, December 4, 2008

Dear Math, [a letter to math]

You're gay.

Not that I have anything against homosexuals, just thought I'd clear that up,
Shout-out to my same sex lovin' homies

I would also like to say I like guys, the above statement may have lead you to believe otherwise, that's why I also decided to clear that up.

ANYWAYS

I have been taught my whole life that two negatives [wrongs] don't make a positive [right].
I was told this at a young age and decided not to question it, so I have been going through my life being slapped about and not doing anything about it, and that was cool. I don't like starting conflicts, like my grand pale Kim Jung Il.

BUT OH NO, you come along and flip my whole world upside down.
You tell me sure, two negatives equal a negative, but if you multiply those negatives together you get a positive.
Hold up you mean if I multiply the negatives in life I get a positive?
Let me test this theory;

If I take a crappy mark on a test and multiply it by my house burning down....
hmmm,...carry the two...
Wait a minute! I don't get a positive! I get one homeless me with no chance in hell of going to collage!!

that my friend [or should I say enemy?], is no positive. You have mislead me and clouded my out look on life, you should be ashamed of yourself!

And when you add a negative too a positive you only SOMETIMES get a positive [however being a optimist, I believe that most of the time you get a negative lol]

Math, I truly believe that you are not only going against my mother's teachings, you are also going against my morals [oh no, you didn't] so I am hear by severing our relationship, and I think others should do the same. [and since whatever I think others should do is usually right, you will be a very lonely person/idea/thing]

I don't think I will be needing you in the future so try not to contact me, I'm moving and changing my phone number.

And remember,
It's not you, It's me.

Sincerely;

Jess DeBenedetto

2 comments:

debs... said...

Genius Post.

Ryan said...

I second Deborah-rah, that post is genius.